1. |
Mud
03:45
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The birds chirping in the morning, it's too early for this
Their singing like the ticking of a clock hanging over my head
A tiny rope, holding me up
tell me, Am I cool am I cool am I cool enough?
Do you like my shoes, do you like my jeans, do you like me?
Do you like my shirt, do you like my beanie, no, that's too many things
Look at me, Look at me, come on, give me attention
Okay, wait, stop, now that's too much atention
Go away, go away, you don't see me
but I see me, but I see me
I see me swim, see me swim through this thick air
like mud wiped on my face and thrown in my hair
The dead skin cells dancing on my arms
My cry for help is a long distance phonecall
And no one's answering
All I'm getting is machines
I am secrets I am blood cells
I am a sick puppy, please come and kick me
I am hanging on I am desparation
I am dirty, please please come and clean me
Tell me I'm good enough, tell me I smell good
because this is not for me, this is all for you
I am thinking of these bags underneath my eyes
and they're getting too heavy for me to carry
"All you need is to learn to breathe"
Shut up, Back off, I know what I'm doing
"In through the nose" Out through my mouth
Shut up, I said I know, I know what I'm doing.
"You're gonna be okay" No, I promise, I know I'm really not
"You can't die from a broken heart" well, not if you ain't trying hard enough
and I don't wanna live forever, that's too fucking long
"But how long do you think will be long enough?"
No, go away, I don't wanna talk today
I said don't wanna talk
Who is this a conversation between?
Who the hell is even doing the talking?
It's not ADD
I just look at the ceiling when I don't feel like breathing
Getting help means that you're really sick
I don't think I have anxiety, I just think I do
This think-thinking about having a condition
Have I made myself anxious by thinking I have it?
Tell me I'm good enough, make me whole
Cuz I am half of a half of a quarter, a hole
I will try to fix me, I don't need anybody
I can run all I want to and you will never catch me
But if I get sick of running, will you sit with me?
But if I get sick of sitting, will you run with me?
But if I get sick of running, will you sit with me?
But if I get sick of sitting, will you run with me?
This isn't even a song anymore, it's a journal entry
And just like a diary it'll end abruptly
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Penpal New Jersey
Some lo-fi noise punk from an emo kid who can't sing and thinks he knows what indie is
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