1. |
At The Same Time
02:05
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I tried to write some songs
but I ran out of chords
but I ran out of tunings
but I ran out of words
I tried to write some songs
but I've got some shit ideas
I'm never clever enough
but I tried to sing to them
But my voice ain't good quiet
My voice ain't good loud
Sometimes I wonder why I even bother making a sound
But you see the words
(but you see the words) they just keep coming out
And I can't seem to close
(can't seem to) close my mouth
(So here goes!)
This is for everything I've had
And for everything I've lost
This is for all of my friends
and for anyone at all
This is for the sleepless nights
in insomniac eyes
This is for everything and nothing
at the same time
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2. |
Mud
03:44
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The birds chirping in the morning, it's too early for this
Their singing like the ticking of a clock hanging over my head
A tiny rope, holding me up
tell me, Am I cool am I cool am I cool enough?
Do you like my shoes, do you like my jeans, do you like me?
Do you like my hair, do you like my beanie, no, that's too many things
Look at me, Look at me, come on, give me attention
Trip slip and stumble over my own tongue
Dragging my cadaver through this thick air like mud
The dead skin cells dancing on my arms
Every hair like a freezing needle into my blood
Teach me how to be clean
Teach me how to be enough
I am knots, I am the art of aching
I am a sick puppy, ripe for the kicking
I am hanging on and I am desperation
I am more metaphors than I have words for
They don't ever tell you you're not good enough
They just pack up and leave
I am thinking of these bags underneath my eyes
and they're getting too heavy for me to carry
"Take a second. Look at me. Breathe"
Back off, I know what I'm doing
"In through the nose"
Out through my mouth
I said I know what I'm doing.
"You're gonna be okay"
No, I promise, I know I'm really not
"You can't die from a broken heart"
Well, not if you ain't trying hard enough
I don't wanna live forever, that's too fucking long
"But then how long do you think will be long enough?"
No, go away, I don't wanna talk today
I said don't wanna talk
Who is this a conversation between?
Who the hell is even doing the talking?
It's not ADD
I just look at the ceiling when I don't feel like breathing
Getting help means that you're really sick
I don't think I have anxiety, I just think I do
This think-thinking about having a condition
Have I made myself anxious by thinking I have it?
Tell me I'm good enough, make me whole
Cuz I am half of a half of a quarter, a hole
I will try to fix me, I don't need anybody
I can run all I want to and you will never catch me
But if I get sick of running, will you sit with me?
But if I get sick of sitting, will you run with me?
All this repetition is making me sick
This isn't even a song anymore, it's a sliced up journal entry
And just like a diary it'll end abruptly
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3. |
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4. |
Pillowtalk
04:04
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I'm waking up at six am just to catch you walking out the door
and I know no matter what I say you'll say that you have to leave for work
but you call me everyday at lunch just to tell me that you can't wait to come home
Our sleep speech from beneath our sheets like pillow talk on the phone
she says "please don't turn the lights off"
she says "don't fall asleep without me"
You're a life so comforting and anxious, so content and homesick
nectarines inside your voice, you left me here again with music
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5. |
Dance
03:40
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You are the beautiful parts of me
writing letters in the back of my mind
You are the lightning and I'm trying way too hard
to be something worth your while
Your bedtime eyes and sunrise sighs
Take me out, take me out tonight
You're the one I think of
when I try to write slow songs
Tell me baby what you dream of
Because I wonder, and I wonder too much
I would let you dance dizzy on my eyelids
I would let you squirm beneath my fingertips
I would let you put my arm to sleep
I would let you stop my heartbeat
I would let you fall to pieces
I would help you pick them back up
I would even let you steal the blankets
I mean come on, isn't that enough?
You're the one I think of
when I try to write slow songs
Tell me baby what you dream of
Because I wonder, and I wonder too much
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Penpal New Jersey
Some lo-fi noise punk from an emo kid who can't sing and thinks he knows what indie is
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